Choosing Childcare Suite101.comLet's Talk About School Suite101.com

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The decision to enroll your precious little one in child care is never taken lightly. Although you may hear tidbits on centers from other moms, read up on the local programs or even know a staff member or two at the local preschool, it can be difficult to feel safe and secure in your final choice.

Choosing the ‘right’ program or arrangement can make the difference between your child’s safety and happiness (as well as your own peace of mind) and an outright educational disaster. Whether you are a first or fourth time parent, there are some simple things to look for when making your selection.

Look for an Arrangement that Meets Your Family’s Needs

While daycare centers and preschools may be the most prevalent forms of child care, your work or family situation may not call for such as full time arrangement. Whether you are a work at home mom looking for a little extra help or simply need a day to yourself here or there, an occasional or flexible child care arrangement may be the perfect match.

These include:

neighborhood babysittersrelative or family friend caresummer or holiday campsneighborhood care exchanges with other momsAsk About Licensing and Accreditation

If daycare or a center based program is the route you choose, look to see if the school is accredited, licensed or approved. Licensing requirements will vary by state, but include standards that range from adult-child ratios to staff educational and experiential requirements or even allowable room sizes. These standards aim to keep your child safe and give her the most caring environment.

Licensing is a must for the legal operation of most centers, but accreditation is not. The main accreditation agency in the U.S. is the National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC). Choosing a NAEYC accredited school means that you child will:

Engage daily in developmentally appropriate activities that foster growth in all areas such as cognitive, social, emotional and physical development.Be treated as unique and individual in respect to his learning and developmental abilities.Be respected for her cultural and/or social background.Have professional early childhood educators who have training and expertise working with young children.Have a safe physical environment.Build caring relationships with the center staff and other children.Ask Other Parents

Been there, done that. That is the motto of many a parent. Why start your search from scratch when your best friend or insightful neighbor has already put three kids through various preschool programs?

Ask your friends, relatives, moms on the block, co-workers or anyone who will listen where their kids went.

Instead of asking for generalizations such as, “Was the center good?” “Did you like the teachers?" or “What are your thoughts on the programs?” get specific and look for answers that match your needs. Ask about day-to-day experiences, what the parent saw or heard during drop off and pick up times, how the school really handled sick kids (even though the policy may say that a child can’t attend some centers won’t think twice before letting a strep infected toddler start a daycare plague) or if the teachers/workers were really available to answer their questions.

Visit the Center

You know what you are looking for, you’ve done your research, the school is accredited, and your neighbor just can’t stop glowing as she talks about the brilliant teachers and fabulous field trips that the local early childhood center has to offer. But, is this enough? Simply stated, no. You need to check it out for yourself.

Just like you knew that the ‘perfect date’ your cousin’s friend set you up with just was not the one, you can also get a feeling about a center on the very first meeting. Think of it as a blind date where you have heard some things, but need to make a decision for yourself. During your trip you will most likely talk to the center director, some staff members and take a brief tour. Come prepared with a list of questions that speak directly to your family’s needs and what kind of care you are looking for. Make sure to look for:

smiling faces (on both children and staff)safe practices such as hand washinga safe, comfortable environment that is baby/child proofed and free from dangerconstant supervisiona variety of age appropriate learning materials such as books and toys

Getting ready to place your little one in any child care arrangement takes time and planning. Find the right fit for your family as well as your child. Ask your potential sites for their accreditation credentials and take a tour before making your big decision.

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Conversations with kids about school often lead to frustration. Kids will sometimes respond to parental inquiries with one word answers, excuses and complaints. Adults often only bring up a school discussion when a problem becomes apparent and sometimes kids go on the defensive simply because the conversation is school-related. If, however, school-related conversations can become the norm instead of just a defensive tactic, parents and kids can benefit in a variety of ways.

Open The Door

Check in everyday with a student about school. Ask open ended questions that require specific responses. Ask specifically what books kids are reading in Language Arts or what topic is being covered in Math. Invite kids to share what they had for lunch, what art projects are being worked on or what was the funniest thing that happened during the day. This conversation should happen outside of the daily homework check. Engaging in this manner is positive and encouraging for the student.

Remember that it is almost always how something is said, more than what is said that causes conflict. If parents approach every conversation surrounding school, homework or grades in an accusatory or problematic manner, kids will respond defensively. The question, did you do your homework, is better replaced by how much homework do you have this evening? Do you need help completing your homework is a question that invites a discussion about the homework rather than a wrestling match over it.

Using Conflict Positively

Even in the best of situations conflicts will arise. Parents, students and teachers will not always agree on issues. When conflict does arise, however it is possible to use it for positive outcomes.

Remember to use "I" statements in discussions. Saying, "I am concerned because your teacher suggested that your test grades are not as good as they could be," is a more positive approach than "your teacher said you are not working hard enough." The first approach suggests concern, and asks for a response. The second approach is accusatory, and both suggests and invites blame, excuses and further conflict.

During discussions avoid threats in both word and body language. Don't start out by taking away privileges, yelling and finger pointing. Taking a softer approach, being mindful of voice and tone while taking the time to listen to the students' responses can lead to a solution rather than an argument.

If and when the dreaded teacher parent conference arises, bring the child into the discussion. Since it is the child's school work or behavior that is being questioned, only the child can change it. Adults can provide the resources to make that happen, but the child needs to own their own behavior and work and should thus be included in all conversations.

School Talk

Effective daily communication about school will have far reaching results as students get older. These basic communication skills will teach them a vocabulary to explore aspects of their lives with others. They will learn that problems do not have to lead to conflict. They will begin to understand that problems require strategies and that not all strategies work. This will help them to understand that sometimes life is trial and error and that continual effort has its own rewards.

In addition, school talk will bring parents and kids closer together and maybe even add some peace to the house.